Does it matter how we talk to ourselves? The answer is yes. Self-talk is one of the most important parts of our journey to happiness and well-being. You probably feel pain, shame, and guilt when you are mean to someone. The same goes for when you are being mean to yourself. We might feel some form of “instant gratification”, but in the long term, this is immensely harmful to ourselves.
And it is not “only” about psychology and the mind and emotions. It is also about the cells in our bodies. Our bodies are consisting of 60-80 percent of water, and as you may know, water is an intelligent force.
There have been various scientific pieces of research made with water and how it perceives what we say to it. One of the research was with two cups of water, and to one of them, the scientists were talking with love, complimenting it and saying “I love you”, etc. To the other one, they were talking in a hateful manner, saying “I hate you”, “You are a horrible and ugly water”, etc. Then they froze these cups of water. After looking at the frozen water, the cup with the one who was receiving words of love created beautiful shapes of frozen patterns. The other one looked really bad, without any shape or form.
Take this as proof – that our bodies listen to what we tell them. It is important to be honest, of course, and admit to ourselves, when we were wrong, but at the same time not to put ourselves (or others) down too much.
How to change the narrative of your self-talk?
If you have a hard time believing that you are worth anything and that you can never be as good as someone you know or as you wish you were, there are ways out. And it all starts with your mind. It might be good to start with baby steps, so it is easier for you and comes more naturally. You can start by writing down a list of things that you like about yourself. I am sure there are many if you really think about it!
The other excellent thing you could do and that works 100% is to write down all the things you have achieved so far in your life. I believe that you will be surprised by how many things you have done, been through, and accomplished! Do not belittle yourself, write it all down.
Do self-talk affirmations work?
Self-talk affirmations definitely work. And who says otherwise, haven’t properly tried them. When you try this technique for the first time, it might feel a bit awkward. But I promise you it gets better with time and practice. The best way for me is to sit somewhere where I can be alone, close my eyes and say my affirmations out loud (not necessarily shouting, but just enough so I can hear my voice). This technique is the strongest because it is me – my mouth – saying these things. It is me hearing them. I give these “commands” to the water in my body this way. And “miraculously”, my body listens.
I can notice, when I do not do these affirmation sessions (it is also the way I usually meditate) for some time, I start to lose some of the perks it has, slowly. It will help if you do this exercise even just once, but it is similar to going to the gym. You will feel the rush of adrenaline right after a workout, but in order to get long-term and real results, you need to be consistent. The difference here is that you do not need to sweat but just sit somewhere in peace and quiet.
Make it a habit
In order to get the real benefits of positive self-talk, it should become your habit. Make sure that you switch the way you talk to yourself from negative to positive, on daily basis. No, on an hourly basis! Or in short, every time your brain tries to tell you something like “you messed this up, you stupid …” or “you look so bad today”, when you look in the mirror, try to stop yourself. Stop your thought right there at the moment and exchange them for something more loving. We all have days when we don’t feel at our best. It is okay to admit it, but not to put ourselves down. We can say something nicer, always.
The same goes for when we talk about ourselves in front of others – do not put yourself down or belittle yourself when you speak about yourself with a friend, colleague, or anyone. I think it is fine to make jokes and have fun, but saying things like “I could never look this good”, or “I am not smart enough”, or “I can never achieve anything”, or anything else – you probably got the idea. By doing this, you are not helping yourself nor the person you are talking to, even if you might think so.
Conclusion
So, positive self-talk and affirmations really work and they can definitely even change you – for the better! You will start feeling better about yourself, more confident, more capable of doing things you didn’t think you were good enough for and you will actually even become smarter! Your brain cells will listen to what you tell them too, because, in our bodies, everything is connected. I know it sounds crazy, but it worked on me and many others. Even on a bad day, if you practice telling your cells that you are beautiful and amazing, they will listen too.
Please, try it, even if you do not have any issues with talking yourself down. It is really worth it – and most importantly – YOU ARE WORTH IT.
